see?

07/12/2013

most people think they can read me like a book, but i still have my secrets. most people around me don't even realize that my smiles are fake 90% of the time, much like this one. this was taken yesterday at work. not even 24 hours after my husband and i got into an argument and he told me he wanted to leave... i had to put on my happy face so i would not collapse into a blubbering puddle of depression, and this was the result. i still want to die, but i have to work today again so i have to again put on a happy face. no one would guess by looking at the photo that two nights ago i could not breathe because i was crying so hard i was having chest pains...people think they can read me but they only can read what i allow them to see. i'm not stupid. growing up with liars and manipulators has taught me well how to avoid such heartaches. now if only i can learn how to avoid others i'd truly be great.....