strike
Well, it's been one of those days. I just stay depressed all the time anymore it seems. I miss parts of my old life in Broadway but for the most part I'm okay that I'm not there anymore. But I really don't know how much more I can take of what this place does to you. My husband is a hunter. But he hasn't had any chance of that because of work especially with the time change and it getting dark at like 5:30. Take this evening. We had a long day at work. Then he was excited because we got off about 3:45 and he thought yay he can go hunt for a little bit before doing the dogs and birds again. So, I took him down to get the 4-wheeler and I left for the store. He told me to call him when I got back so he could get a pepsi (which i had to buy). So, I did. He was at the turkey houses rolling up curtains. I was like...why? He was a bit pissy and I don't blame him because he didn't get to go hunting. He was like because they think this will work and they're dumbasses and she's gone and I can see it's gonna be like this all fucking year! I was like...great. Then he was like I love you babykins. So I said love you and hung up. When he gets like that he just wants to up and leave and we have no place to go. But say we got the money to go...then what? Back to his brother? Making 250 a week? Granted he only makes 300 a week here but um, no rent, electric, water, or gas bills. Plus it means I'll be out of a job too. He can work for his brother but I can't. Not that I wouldn't mind really lol. Honestly this really isn't my kind of work. Besides it's really not healthy for me to be in the turkey houses with having asthma but if it gets real bad Jeff won't let me go in. Jess doesn't let it get bad and if it does she's right on it about getting the air quality better. Not because of me but because of the birds. She doesn't know I have asthma and I don't want her too really. But what can Jeff do? I heard Mike (big boss) telling Jeff how this type of work is what it is...farm work. Whether you have to work around the clock some days and not hardly at all others. He was saying it because of Buck bitching about working and stuff not because Jeff complained. But still...not once was he told that part of the job requirement was that he had to be available 24 hours a day... or that he would have to go down and check on the birds in the evening. Jess did that. Jeff started doing because she asked if he could when she was out of town for these two funerals way back when we first moved in and it just kinda became permanent. Then before he does that he has to go to her house and feed all of her animals which there are...hold on, let me count...12 dogs, 1 goat and 2 of her horses. He started doing that because she was sick...with what we don't know. First it was a hernia...then it wasn't...then it was something to do with a groin muscle...now we're not sure. She isn't suppose to lift anything heavy, not even a gallon of milk. Yet she's walking around carrying these 50lb+ feed line motors, telling us about how she was chucking hay bales up on a truck after the halloween thing at her church and so on. wth? She had two goats. ONe was a baby she rescued from this farm where the goats were walking around half starved with maggots on them. Gross. Then she got the other one once he was able to eat grass and was off milk to teach him how to eat and stuff. Well, the other night we went down to do the animals and she was gone somewhere. Jeff found the baby goat dead. I was so upset. They are some type of little minature goats that her dogs would be bigger than when they are full grown. I was attached to that little fellow. He used to suck my finger right after she took him off the bottle hoping he would get some milk and it was just too cute.
Okay, so I'm getting way off subject as usual. The point is that when we moved here I didn't fit into this work equation at all. Then they said something about helping out with clean-out. No problem...hell, I was even excited at the thought of the extra cash that would bring in. Then it was helping out with the baby turkeys and feeding them. Okay. Then it was till we got the bottom 5 houses ready and the birds moved over there. Hmm. Then it was firing Buck and working me. But it's only suppose to be till we get caught up then I'll only help walk the birds. They go away in about 5 weeks. Um, do you see a pattern here, yet? Let's do this from Jeff's end. Before we moved here he made 850 every two weeks. But if we move in it's only 600 because of the house. But before we moved in he didn't have to do no evening walks, or run down there for an alarm call, or have to be on the farm if she wasn't. Less work. We move here because that sounded good...it wasn't even really mentioned but it was just that way, but instead of the same work it's more work for less money. How does that happen? So, when he says things like "i can see it's gonna be like this all fucking year" in the tone that he said it in I get depressed. I'm like so when are we moving? What are we going to do for cash? I'm so stressed it's not funny in the slightest. You should see my house! It's a disaster!! Believe me I'm not exaggerating. For instance there's dirty dishes galore, trash, junk everywhere, a cat or dog ripped open the trash bag in the kitchen and that's everywhere. Clothes are everywhere. I just have no time!! I have no energy!! I was so mad today because the kids were home all day because it's election day therefore teacher workday. I told them before going to work to clean up around the house. Well, they cleaned the living room which probably took all of 20 minutes being as it was the only room I got completely spotless Sunday. They did nothing else. At about 9:30 am we had come up to wash our hands and change clothes and I told them to get the trash up in the yard where the cats had dragged it out. Jeff told them to put it in the building for now. They did but they didn't pick up anything else. Nothing! Inside or out. Which is a lot of thanks for finally buying them Transformers last night. I told them too. I was like you guys really don't deserve that movie or anything else. I'm not kidding. I'm not buying them shit for a long time. I'm so sick of them and Jeff not cleaning up after themselves. How long does it take really? What do they expect? I can understand the last 6 years with the kids being in school and Jeff at work that I would obviously clean house and what-not. What else was there for me to do? But what about now? I'm working the same hours as Jeff and more hours than what the boys are in school and I've still got to be the one to wash dishes, clothes, floors and every other fucking thing? I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT!! I got to go. I'm done.
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