I want to crawl into a hole and die.
Last night things came to an end.
This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to get married and have babies and be happy. That's what this ring on my finger means.
This is the hardest breakup I've ever gone through. My heart is breaking so painfully with no relief in sight.
We love each other so much. We aren't fighting. It's just not working. We're not happy often enough to justify staying together. That almost makes it harder. We still say "I love you", he still kisses me, we still lay together, we still share a bed, and a car, and a home, and a life. It will be that way until we can afford to fix my car, and afford for me to travel 2,000 miles (all alone) to get home to my family.
How am I going to leave him? How can I walk out that door and know that I'm never coming back?
My eyes are swollen and they hurt. All I do is cry. Everytime I look at him, I want to cry. Everytime I think about leaving, or have to say it out loud I cry.
To top it all off, I'm terribly sick. I feel like shit emotionally and physically and I don't have the steam to keep going. Unfortunately, I have no choice.
I can't keep feeling this way. I can't. I don't know what to do.
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