I've been watching Fruits Basket recently. First time since I was this crazy, drunken, anime nut when I was like fifteen. The main character actually almost makes me feel bad about myself, honestly. She's so nice, she's always saying crap like "How can I not be thankful for everything I have even though both my parents are dead and I was living in a tent in the middle of the woods." I think, if I had even an ounce of her personality, Derek and I would probably never fight. Not that I'm complaining, we've overcome a new hurdle in our relationship, and the fighting has once again died down to maybe once or twice a month, depending, but then the fights we do have just end up making us both feel awful. Our most recent one was uh...I did a crapload of housework all day, and got us both caught up on our massive load of laundry, and even organized things a little better so he could have better access to his clothes instead of having to run around searching for them, and I made our favorite dinner, chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes. And the second he walked into the house and just flopped down in front of his computer, he said...don't argue with me today. Honestly, that's fine with me, I had no intentions of arguing with him, until two hours passed that he spent on the computer playing Starcraft and not speaking to me when I was talking to him. So I tried picking a fight, tried making him feel bad, just to get his attention, and then I went out and smoked and when I came back I apologized and explained to him that I just wanted his attention. For another hour, he didn't talk to me, and then he got off the computer and declared he was going to bed. Okay, sure, fine with me, figured I'd join him. And then, because I like to fall asleep on my side facing away from him, a perfectly decent way to cuddle as it's called...SPOONING...he said I should just lay on my stomach and cuddle with him. I made some snide remark, we automatically had a blow out, and here's the funny thing, atleast I think it's funny because usually I'm the one who does it...he stormed out of the room and said he was sleeping on the couch. Honestly, I'm an absolute child when we get into arguments, I say things without thinking, I call him names, and I even throw temper tantrums and try to guilt trip him into admitting that I'm right. doesn't work, we discussed that it doesn't work, I'm trying to change it so that I don't do it that often. He's called me a child so many times that I'm actually annoyed whenever I hear it, and then he pulls crap like that. Needless to say, I went out to him and apologized for my half of the argument, and he apologized for his, and all was well again.
I've been worried about my cat alot lately. I don't know why, maybe because I know that when Derek and I actually move, since Derek hates my cat, I won't be able to take him with me.
This is him.
I honestly cannot figure out why he hates my cat. I've asked him on numerous occassions, but it always comes back to "I just do." Granted, Milkshakes has not always been the best of cats. It used to be that...whenever he got upset, he would take it out on my by...pooing all over the floor, but we got past that, and he never does it anymore. He used to be a stray, and when I found him he was like...two years old, and had been living off of the good ol' outdoors, so occassionally, he still brings rabbits and mice home, but that can't be erased because he's done it for so long, so I praise him like those animal experts say to do, so I don't give him a complex. I suppose Derek could hate him because of the mass amounts of money he's cost us in vet bills from when he would always decide to go out and get into fights with other cats. You can't believe some of the crap that happened to him before we actually got him fixed. He's definately mellowed out now, but he's a lot more needy and...I think he gets jealous of Derek even, because anytime that I'm scratching Derek's back or talking or laying with him, Milksahkes will come up and chew on my arm...
My sister told me a few days ago that she was just diagnosed with split-persoanlity disorder. Not that the disorder itself bothers me, she's not the first I've known to have been diagnosed with it, she bothers me though. My sister and I...we aren't big fans of each other. I probably mentioned it before but...where we used to be close, we only feel loathing for each other and most of the time, she's just trying to show off in the strangest ways. I've made it a note not to talk about certain things around her because she always gets competitive. I donno, when she talked to me a few days ago, she actually said it in a way that suggested she were actually proud of herself. Because that's definately something to be proud about? Maybe because she may actually be able to qualify for SSI benefits instead of before when she was just...socially anxious. I guess it bothers me because I realized that she's not the only one in my family to be so caught up in what they're being diagnosed with as far as mental health goes.
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