I have been working on pure addrenelin for the past two weeks. I come home exhausted after work, and when I wake up after yet another 'barely four hours sleep' I feel as though I haven't slept at all. Undoubtedly because I haven't, as it is only four hours.
I can barely keep my eyes open during the day, and yet when the night comes along, I feel as though all my energy pours out of me. I want to move around. I want to exercise. I want to talk loudly to everyone I meet.
And it's past two in the morning.
That's when I would force myself into bed, only to stare up at the ceiling until around four, and either having to wake up at seven or eight for work the next day. That wasn't any kind of rest, that was just me...barely making it through.
And now I've got three days off, and it's all sunk in. I went to bed last night, I was working on Saturday, around eleven and didn't wake up until half past two. I could hear my housemates moving around, but I couldn't be bothered to get up from bed. Instead, I reached over and read, as I listened to Richard (my sister's boyfriend) have more and more friends over in order to watch Liverpool Vs. Manchester United.
I couldn't act as if I cared about football, not that I do anyway, but I couldn't even pretend just to be sociable. I don't know the people that were over, I say hello when I do see them but other than that I keep my distance. But, I couldn't care, and all that went through my mind was that they better leave soon, as I did want to be able to move around the ground floor of the house.
And I wanted to be able to watch some kind of television, as there is only one working one at the moment. The others have all lost the standard channels due to us being cut off, and so we only have the one in the living room.
But I couldn't. Not until they left and that didn't happen until past six (I forgot that the hour goes back until I came down eventually to talk to my sister).
And now after watching the X Factor (I have lost any faith in it now), I find that... Well, I'm not really interested. There's nothing that I want to watch and so I'm keeping all of my attention on the computer after turning it off.
I actually find that I'm doing that more and more. Television doesn't hold my attention like it used to.
It's past midnight, and I should probably go to bed. But I've barely been up as it is, and...I want to do something. That 'jittery' feeling is back and I don't know what to do with it.
I've only been up for ten hours, and that would barely count as a normal day for me. So I'm...arguing it out with Sparks, as the site keeps crashing on me. And I probably should check my LiveJournal, to see if maybe one of my friends is online.
But other than that...I don't know.
Other than I'm hungry. I read up on what looks like a lovely banana bread recipe on Sparks and it's made me want something to eat. I didn't make my calorie count yesterday, and I should definitely try to actually eat all of my small meals. I didn't today, as I only managed three out of the six that I was recommended to eat.
Kya |
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