An adventure I recently had.
Ahh yes... There have been many places I have been banned from or asked to leave, but usually those people have good reason. Either I was drunk and loud or they were pansies and couldn't handle my honesty.
Mrs. Odd and I went with a big group of people to see Sista Otis perform at Memphis Smoke. Her show started at 9, but knowing we had to park and get a table we got there at 7:30ish. With us were CJ and his girlfriend Heather, Billy Zebubba and his friend Diehly, my friend Amanda and my buddy Phil and his lady friend Joyce. Plus Lula La Rose and Reynolds Kosloskey met us there. Count that up folks....that's 11 people I brought to Memphis Smoke to spend their money to eat and drink while listening to Otis with 7 to 10 more to arrive when the show starts.
So at 7:42 we get signed in and handed a little vibrating coaster thing. We sat outside and several watched groups of 2 or 3 go in and get seated immediately. Liz at one point went back in and told them that they could break us up into smaller groups if need be. We'd be willing to make it work, but they never took us up on that. While waiting outside our little rag tag group of freaks and geeks got the ole stink eye from the denizens of Royal Oak. Anyways, after getting such a warm welcome from those passing us by, we decided to head back inside and wait. We stood in a huddle out of the way for about 30 more mins after we went back inside. After 30 mins Billy's friend Diehly went over to the bar to talk to the manager. We could see Diehly and her facial expressions, she stood there looking rather sad and disheartened as the short stump of Douchenger (read manager) came up looked over the list and then headed back to Diehly. At which point Billy started to make his way back to where she was...with me in line right behind him.
We reach Diehly and catch the tale end of Rob's (that was his name) attempt to stonewall her. I listen to his BS not saying a word until he starts throwing attitude and talking about how he is too busy to deal with us and that he has a business to run. I tell him that if he was really interested in running the business he wouldn't have kept a group 10 waiting for an hour and half. How he should have made it his priority to find them a table and made sure they spent money in his establishment. He then got indignant towards us, especially towards me and said if I talk once more he's gonna throw us all out. Billy then speaks up with Diehly and they ask what he plans to do to make this right to which the tiny little man....who looks like a miniature version of the dad from Malcolm in the Middle....says he isn't going to do anything and if we don't like it we can leave.
The Douchenger then toddles back off to munchkin land and we are left standing there in complete shock. We shake off our befuddlement and proceed to where Otis is at and tell her we are going to have to leave, that the manager has left us standing for an hour and half with out making any attempt to seat us. That we have a pregnant woman with us who needs a chair and some grub STAT! BTW...during this whole waiting period. They could clearly see that Heather is pregnant and at no point did they at the very least offer her a chair.
Otis is of like mind in thinking that this shit ain't right. So she says screw them....you guys can come and sit on the floor in front of the stage as her personal guests. So we sat in front of her family on the floor leaving a path wide enough for the servers to get through. Please make note that the gap between the stage and use was at least 3 feet wide.
After about 5 mins...long enough for us to hear the mic check song. Memphis Smoke's General Douchenger comes over and informs us that the fire marshal will shut him down if we are seen sitting on the floor. That we need to go stand in the back of the club or leave. When we told him we tried to get chairs and be paying customers (I.E. eat there as there was no cover charge) we were told that he didn't care. We started making a fuss over the total lack of customer service at which point we were asked to leave.
As we were being led out, Otis got on the mic and pleaded with them to find us seats and to let us stay. Sadly her pleas fell on deaf ears. It would have been great to see the show and hung out with her after, but it seems it wasn't in the cards for us. So we decided to head down the street to a familiar friend, a stand by for late night feeders. The one and only.........
There we weren't turned away. When they heard what happened (as we had just come from it and were fuming about it) they jumped right to putting 3 tables together and making sure we knew if we need more they would accommodate. As we sat and ate we had a bit of a round table discussion as to where and why the night went wrong. The main topic of course being, how we couldn't understand why a business would turn away such a lucrative business opportunity.
Here, let me explain. 10 people....ordering dishes priced anywhere from $8 to $20 ($8 being for sandwiches), on top of drinks plus some booze for a bit through the evening. You're looking at least $200 from one table. Now...that might not seem like a lot, but I am gonna show you where places like this get you. Make sure you look at your receipts! Some places sneak in the gratuity with the final bill....this is great if they inform you of that, but most places won't figuring you'll leave cash on the table. Congratulations! you just double tipped, hope she (or he) gave your knob a polish or at least played with the berries a bit. So you see my point about lucrative business opportunity? Everyone stood to make out.
One of the other things that stuck in our heads was....If you know you have a large group that has been waiting for awhile. Instead on continuing to seat the smaller groups. Why not tell the small groups to wait a few minutes and try to seat the large group asap. People are use to waiting a few minutes at restaurants. As I said in the beginning...we saw several groups of 3 and 4 being seated quickly. Do the math. I'll wait........See!
Our waitress was on the spot with everything. We all got our food at roughly the same time. It was a tasty friggen meal with great people. Here have a look at the smorgasbord.
Our bill at National was $74, we would have probably spent twice if not 3 times that at Memphis Smoke. Our waitress was thrilled with her tip. Let's just say we were grateful for her and we showed it. Here is a photo of me with our waitress...or it could also be an accurate interpretation of the numbers 0 1 in sequence.
LOOK OUT LADY THERE IS AN OGRE ABOUT TO...oh wait...that's just Odd.
I plan on following up on this incident with the Royal Oak Chamber of Commerce and maybe the BBB. I might be wrong, but I do believe we were in our right. Nobody got loud or violent, but yet the manager was heaving heavy attitude on us like we were inconveniencing him. I did manage to get one jab in....LOL...I scared the crap out of the cash out girls by thumping the window as we walked past. Harmless fun, but it gave us a minor feeling of justice. Though to be honest I wanted to pick the twerp up and shake the shit out of him. I forgot to mention earlier that Memphis Smoke employs not only servers, but goon and hired thugs as well. Why does a restaurant need bouncers? Oh yeah I forgot, because it's upper management is made up of total tools and door knobs that people want to punch.
Let me know what you guys think.
(Photo's courtesy of Amanda Rae Photography and Liz)
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