"Yes, Cris-i-tunity"
....a little Simpsons madness
Seriously though I've been thinking, always dangerous i know, but bear with me....
I'm frustrated and worried about what the ongoing strike may mean for me and my schooling, and i've had to consider the reality that i may not be able to attend this term, with so many variables to deal with, i'm a little overwhelmed.
And i was talking to E about it, and speculating that if i can't complete this term, then i can get some job and go from there, but in the course of our conversation i had a realization.
Our situation is different than it was a year ago, when i conceived this insane plot to go back to school. I was our sole source of income, and things were merrily going forward with E and i. Since then she's gotten her dream job, and as we're moving apart, i'm no longer responsible for supporting her, which gives me more choices. i was wrapped up in finishing school because it's what i *had* to do in order to support my family.
but for the moment all i have to is support myself, E's making more than enough money to keep her and C in food, housing etc etc etc, and she's *just* starting out, i've no doubt that in 3-5 years as she improves her skills and works and learns she could probably increase her income by 50-75% and that's darn good money.
So if the pressure is removed from me then the way i see it i have a few options.
i can keep doing what i'm doing, it's not a *bad* idea per se, but taking the business program was an option i took because i knew i probably wouldn't hate my job coming out of it, and i'd make decent money, and odds were good i'd find a job locally that would probably appeal to me and challenge me.
or, i can go back to work, with less pressure to earn a certain amount of money, i have more freedom to something that i might like to do, rather than taking a job because i *have* to, to pay the bills....there will still be bills to pay, but it's a different animal.
or option 3, it's a little scary, but it has tremendous potential......
When i conceived originally of going back to school, what i really *really* wanted to do was go into some kind of counseling or maybe psychology, but i opted not to do so because i felt it would take way too long, and that it wold be unfair to ask E to support for me as long as it would take, especially if she was doing a job she wasn't wild about.
but if it's just me i'm worrying about, then that is an option i can pursue, i'll still have a metric crap-ton of debt....and that does worry me, but i would like to be learned, rather than merely educated.....and i *really* do like people and helping them....so maybe this is the way i should go...
it'll be a whole hell of a lot of schooling, and a lot of work....but it could be worth it, get my masters, go into psych....that'd be awesome!!!
something to sleep on....
good night and good luck
-Jonas |
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