ryc: of course, I use comment layouts, so just go to the search bar and type it in, and you should find the diary... from there its just a matter of putting the code into your comment box, by either doing it every time you type a comment, or going to manage my diary, comments, and then comment template.
You can change the pic too, which is what i did Hope that helps
while i agree to an extent... i mean, i was spanked as a kid and it never did me any harm to be perfectly honest... spanking isn't something that i want or need to do with my kids. i demand respect from them in other ways, and those ways work for my kids. they know right from wrong, and that what i say goes, and i don't need to spank them to enforce the rules. i prefer to use positive reinforcement of good behaviour, before bad behaviour even becomes an issue, and i've reaped the rewards. X
I was hit a child, it didn't make the slightest bit of difference to my behavior, it just shows you that your parents have no control and are hypocrits.
I agree with Julie. I am actual a faith believing women and it's hard for my parents and others to believe why I choose not to spank.
I believe that spanking is a result of a child not knowing their place. I, also, depend respect out of my child and I hope that she will continue to be respectful. I hope that I do not need to result in spanking.
However, I do think that if it's needed that spanking is ok up to about age 8. I do not however, think that spanking can have a positive affect on older children past 9. I was spanked in my teens and it only caused me to loathe my parents. It was demeaning to me and I was more disrespectful than respectful.
I RC'd this anyways because I think it's a topic that could be a good discussion on bloop.
i agree with you! although some people dont. i was spanked when i was a child...though rarely cuz i saw my older siblings get it more lol and i was like "hell no i aint getting my ass whooped" i saw my siblings mouth back and get whooped and it worked for me! lol
i was spanked and beaten as a child. the beatings no one deserves. i dont think spankings did me any harm. but when a child walks away from a belt beating with black and blue brusies all over their back and butt then that is wrong. i spank my 1 yr old now (he crawls out the doggie door and that can be dangerous if i lose track of him...usually that doesnt happen but i dont want him to think he can do it only when i am watching him. the spanking seems to be working cuz now for the most part he just sits at the door and just looks out). he is too young to understand time out and what it means. but as soon as he is able i will stop spanking him.
thanks for ur comment. im sure that only happened to me once that i can remember. i dont think i was abused just beaten once (that i know of.) although my grandma did cover all of our mouths with duct tape and made us play in the yard like that bcuz we were being too loud. idk if that is considered abuse but i was definitely embarassed and i dont think anything like that is called for. i think those were the too most tramatic things that have ever happened to me physically.
i hate spanking my son because he is soo young. but idk what else to do. i dont want him to think it is okay to crawl through the doggie door. i am usually watching him so he only makes it out the door usually and i always war him if he goes out i will spank him. but i will only ever use my hand and it will never be a naked spanking. im just scared if he gets out one day when im busy and i think my mom or dad is watching him and they think im watching him he will get out and get bitten by a snake or something like that. (once i heard of a 2 yr old getting out of bed and going outside and freezing to death in a snow storm. i live in florida so that will never happen but he did crawl out once in a thunderstorm.) so many things will happen and if i dont teach him it is wrong then he will keep it up. but he is learning and the spankings are few and far between. hopefully in the next 6 months i can start implementing a time out routine.
The fact that someone disagreeing with hitting means you get overly sensitive and bring up abuse issues, shows that you know deep down that hitting a child is wrong.
Jesus Christ, dude. Who are you to make assumptions about someone based on some pseudo-psychology about someone getting defensive about your snarky comments? Like, if you went about saying things the right way, then the OP wouldn't have gotten offended at your frankly stupid comments.
You have no idea what the facts are. I can tell that from your baseless, idiotic non-observations about the OP's parents.
yeah i dont spank him hard. the last time i spanked him he didnt even cry. i think the first few times i did spank him he was more scared than anything. i used to tap him on the mouth when he bites (he is teething and biting anything and everything) but now i dont even have to tap him on the mouth i just tell him sternly "NO! you dont bite, biting hurts." he gets this sad look and gives me a hug. the biting has slowed down quite a bit. the spanking has too he doesnt go out the doggie door that much. but u are right he is a happy baby.
I see why this made RC. I was spanked as a child and I agree that this works until a certain age. Cuz when I was a younger teen, I wanted anything but my phone and friends taken away. I would have much rather had a spanking and be done with it. It works especially well with younger children, however. I watch Supernanny, and I'd spank those kids. What hellions!
I don't worry about other parents and what they do or don't do with their children. It just bugs me when people get all militant and judgmental about it, like anybody who spanks is some kind of ogre or something.
I wasn't spanked as a child (I'm the youngest of five, and my oldest sister is the only one who ever got a spanking. My Dad said it upset him more than it did her ), and I turned out just fine. That's not to say, however, that I disagree with you. If ever a child needed a good smack, it's my three year old nephew. Unfortunately, my brother seems to disagree.
I agree with your entry for the most part Congrats on making RC!
I was spanked up until about the age of 8. I'm a perfectly normal, fully functioning adult. xD Same goes for my siblings.
I think spanking is good at very young ages, when kids have only a very limited understanding of language and of the concept of negative punishment. And it's a quick deterrant, especially when they're about to put themselves in danger.
You're describing a scenario when a parenting style fails in general.
Parents who try to raise their kids without hitting or spanking them, and get kids who rebel and threaten them, have failed.
Likewise goes for parents who spank their kids, but bad behavior still constantly and frequently happens. That method has failed too.
IMHO, no single parenting method works. Parents that don't hit or spank can have kids that are 110% behaved, and parents that spank can have kids that still threaten and throw tantrums in the store until they're 12 or 13 years old. Don't believe it? Work retail.
It's a sign that on some level, something is going wrong.
That being said, sometimes a kid just needs a good thwack on the ass to get the message, while another kid just needs to be sat down and explained right and wrong in terms that they understand.
And I also agree with this. Every kid has a different personality so different methods are going to be more effective for them. If you see your child is responding better to "talking it out", time out, grounding, things taken away, then that's the method you should use. But if nothing else works then there's nothing wrong with a smack on the butt to get their attention. Some kids it works for & some it doesn't.
LOL all the parents that have naughty kids that i know IRL DO spank their kids. It's why I don't spank mine and maybe why my eldest has never had a tantrum... *shrugs* thats my opinion from my personal experience and what i've seen with my own eyes.
I agree that it's okay to spank kids. Buuut, my godsons get spanked when they are bad and they are still bad. I think it has more to do with the parenting style in genaral, rather just spanked/non spanked kids misbehaving.
I spank my daughter. It's always a last resort. But if nothing else works she gets a slap on the bottom. I don't agree with using a paddle, belt, switch, or anything other than your hand to spank a child. And I also think their is only a certain age where it is appropriate. I started spatting my daughter's hand when she was 1. And when she got around 18 mo. I would spat her leg or her butt. I think when she gets around 8 or 9 spanking her will be inappropriate. By then I hope she has learned respect for me that I won't have to do anything but get stern with her & she will mind. And I totally agree with saying I'd rather my kid's butt hurt a little than for her to never learn to respect her parents or authority figures. Discipline, when done in a loving way, can steer your children in the right direction in life. I mean what would the world be if their was no discipline? Adults even have discipline. If you break laws you can go to jail, have to serve community service, pay fines, etc. So how is that any different than a parent disciplining their child? They do something wrong, their are consequences. If we raise our children with no consequences then they are going to go through life thinking they can do whatever they want without having to worry about it.
spanking isn't necessary. my parents never spanked me and i turned out fine. you don't need to humble them or hurt their pride in order to get your point across. other parenting methods work fine. if your parenting style requires spanking, something is wrong. i mean, if that's your thing, that's cool, but like, it isn't necessary. i don't plan to spank my children. i can't say, "don't hit other kids, it's wrong," and then hit them in order to punish them. i don't think i will be able to lay a hand on my child in good conscience. i won't be able to. i plan to spare the rod. i won't be able to hit them, i just won't be able to. like i said, if someone else wants to, that's fine, but i don't think it is positively necessary to good parenting.
grats on rc. i was whooped as a kid, and i can honestly say that discipline really did make me more respectful towards not only my parents but other adults. sometimes you just can't explain to kids the importance of listening and obeying, they simply just don't understand. but they recognize pain and remember that, and that's what keeps them behaving until they get older. i had a habit of running off down the street by myself and i didn't understand what the big deal was, but i did know that i didn't want to be whooped anymore so i stopped. it saved me from a greater danger.
'What has happened to people? In the olden days, we got our punishments, and life went on. People grew up to be good people, and society didn't complain.'
Trouble with this argument is that in the olden days there were plenty of punished kids who didn't grow up to be good people. Likewise, there are plenty of unspanked kids who do grow up to be good people. There is no 'cause and effect' evidence that spanking or otherwise affects a person's 'goodness'! It's not as if society has more 'bad' people than it used to. Badness is just manifest in different ways.
Abuse is picked up on a lot more nowadays than before too. Back in the day, because spanking was seen as normal, there was no clearcut division between abuse and spanking, and abuse was a lot more accepted and not identified as such. So there are positive effects to the spanking taboo too. It's all jolly complicated, yo, and there are no easy answers.***Click my eggz && baby dragonz!
Wow, thanks for all the congrats for getting RC! After reading through these, I have to apologize. I didn't mean JUST spanking your kids was an effective means of parenting. I personally plan on a mix with all my kids, based on what works. But if a good old fashioned spanking is what it takes, it's what it takes.
I agree with you 100%. When I was younger my parents grounded us, gave us time out, taken a ty away and spanked us. My brother, sister and I all turned out perfectly fine. You better believe that when my daughter gets older and does something that grounding her, giving her a time out, or taking a toy away won't work she will get a spanking on the bum. Spanking is perfectly fine. I don't like when I see parents smack a child in the head back, or something like that. To me a bum works. It has cushion so it doesn't hurt a lot, but it hurts enough to let the child know they did something wrong.
Hopefully this made sense. Watching my daughter and trying to come up with something to say at the same time.
I was spanked as a kid, and it didn't affect my life now.
I don't have any kids, but I think that sometimes the parents don't know what else to do to shock their kids into realizing that when the parent says "I mean it" they really do mean it.
I see so many bratty kids nowdays, and I think it is because their parents don't take control of them.
And maybe its because the parents feel bad about "hitting" their kids, but if that's the only effective way to teach their kids, than what has to be done, has to be done for their child's safety.
Some parents could use any and every method of punishment, and none of them would be effective.
So, than, if spanking is not the answer, and everything else isn't the answer, than go up to the parent and tell them what exactly they should be doing so their child listens and understands. (Sarcasm there a little bit, as I'm sure no one would really do go up to a mom or dadand coach them on how to be a better parent.)
<3 Sarah
'spare the rod, spoil the child' has been totaly misused. a rod,in its proper translation..a shebet, was used to guide sheep. not hit them. what that quote saying is without disapline you'll spoil your child, not without hitting them.
i was never hit/spanked/smacked. my daughter has never been spanked. why would anyone want to physically hurt their child who loves and trusts them to take care of them? how can you hit someone you love so much.
hitting in a relationship is not okay. so why is it okay to hit kids?
um so i disagree.
The problem is when people use spanking as their own route of punishment. It reduces a child's ability to learn, because the child stops exploring.
The important thing to do is to spank them when it is necessary - for example, they've been pushing your patience and other modes of discipline haven't worked, a spank on the butt is going to give them something to think about.
I find it is also helpful if you can spank them without them knowing about it. It's tricky, but then they relate the pain to a consequence more so than you hitting them.
I really don't like hitting my child. And actually, though it may seem I'm agreeing with you, I'm not entirely. If you put your child in time out, and you do it right, there isn't a need for spanking. Spanking causes pain, and leaving the child in time out and ignoring them also causes pain. You hitting them shows them that you will hit them. You ignoring them shows them that they have to work for your attention, and rewards them. Sadly it is down to time constraints and the ability to bear parenting that causes me to resort to spanking.
I also believe that spanking is necessary is clear cut situations. For example, your daughter trying to stick her fingers into an electrical outlet, she should be spanked very quickly to teach her not to do something so clearly dangerous.
We spank. Not hard, and only on the butt or hand when needed. Time outs and grounding, removing an object simply wasnt working for us. Nor was "positive reinforcement" to each their own though.
I was spanked and in my teenage years I rebelled and broke the law quite a few times (all of which is behind me now). How do you explain that? Personally I had no respect for the parent that spanked me. It's not always so simple. And there are many other methods of parenting that are just as effective and require no violence/bullying. I'll be opting for those methods as much as possible.
I agree. I think people are so scared now of being yelled at if they just spank their kids. I personally think that if you start time outs and groundings and all that when the kids are young there shouldn't be a need for spankings, but than again, I don't have kids. It just drives me crazy all the parents so scared to punish their kids nowadays...
I agree somewhat. I was spanked as a child then when I was a preteen my mother died and my father got abusive.
I don't see spanking as the first means of punishment but I don't see it unacceptable.
However I babysit my nieces and my boyfriend's nephew quite a bit and I absolutely refuse to spank them. Their parent's have told me it is ok but I don't feel its right for anyone but the parents to lay a finger on the child.
Though means of punishment and the actually process of punishment (physical or not) is something I have a problem with, with many parents I see today, I'm more annoyed with the lack of parenting and the dependence on society and media to raise a child. The bf's nephew clings to me when he's over cause I actually play with him! His parents just turn on a dvd and computer games or say "go play with your toys".
I've seen a bigger smile on that boy's face when I was play-wrestling with him then I ever have from toys, moves, or video games.
i don't know about you, but im also sick of parents handing there kids over to the grandparents and going to party and drink and pop pills. step up, and be a parent.
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Hope that helps
), and I turned out just fine. That's not to say, however, that I disagree with you. If ever a child needed a good smack, it's my three year old nephew. Unfortunately, my brother seems to disagree. 
