all that jazz

01/01/2011

ok so you walked in, i was going out at the same time... you had a sorta snarl on your face. i asked whats wrong and you said im tired. so i walked out the door, you walked in and i asked is there anything i can do for ya? and you ignored me. then i said blake, you still ignored me and when i came back in the bedroom door was shut. ok.. what the fuck is going on? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ok you send me home.. then call and tell me if i get more clothes and bring them back and yada ya that i should come back. so i went alllll that way out there, got some stuff, stopped by the drugstore, got you some beer that you didnt pay me back for... i dont think. need to check my purse... but anyway, yeah and i get here and your happy again. what happened? "whats going on" is a question swimming through my head. --------------------------------------------- so your gone to work now. your mom i guess is in. shes going to cut my hair =] but im nervous about it. my hair is pretty damn llong and the cut i want is not so long in the back... but i think im gonna say fuck it and do it! its a kickass cut.--------------------------------------------------------WERE GOING TO THE ZIP LINE!! me, the bf and his mom. im so excited. but nervous. ive met her once.. we've been dating since July 4th. a year 1/2.. she lives in Florida though and comes up sometimes.. so, she got in yesterday i guess.. now we are going zip lining, but my baby is sad =[ which makes me sad. he wont tell me whats wrong, i love him, i want to know whats wrong, i worry. whats going on ya know? this entry is so scattered and fucked up lol. its like we love each other, cant stand each other sometimes.. but.. i think things are getting better. i hope so. ive been here for however long now. at his place and its been pretty good. =] makes me very happy. i just wish i knew where his behavior comes from. he has violent mood swings and expects me to follow his. hell, ive got so many psychotic crap in my head and mood swings myself and you want me to just always be happy or something?? like yesterday he was like "when did your mood turn sour?" i was like jesus, ya know, if you treat me a certain way and act like that im not going to be happy am i? but today hopefully things will look up for him and then we'll be ok. he reallly needs some mood stabilizers I THINK! but.. whatever he would never take them. =[ fin.