I just can't.

I just can't do this. I am not strong enough to deal with all of this. Dan is my everything, he is my reason for living, and now I don't have him. I want nothing more then to be with him again. We were together over 3 freakin years. How am I supposed to just get over that? I can't. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I don't want anyone else.

I'm still here. I haven't been able to find anywhere to go yet. I have to go and try to get general assistance tomorrow, but even that is looking slim at this point. But I need to get out of here. It's just too much. Dan and I argue constantly, and it's making my heart break even more. Seeing him, having him be right here, and not being able to have him kills me. It's like the knife keeps getting shoved deeper and deeper into my heart. I don't know what to do. I have no money and nowhere to go...what am I supposed to do?

How can he do this to me? I know I've made mistakes in the relationship, but so has he. How can he leave me with nothing? He knows I have no money and nowhere to go. But it's like it doesn't matter. I mean, I guess it does because he is letting me stay longer then he originally said, but still. Other then that, he doesn't act like it matters one bit.

He says we can still be friends. And I'm torn. Part of me really wants that because I want to have him in my life at least in same way, but another part of me wonders if I'll ever be able to heal if we're still friends and whatnot. He has even said that maybe we could try to work things out later on down the road, but he doesn't know for sure.

I'm not sure if I have ever hurt this much. I really don't think I have. I've never been in this serious of a relationship before, let alone had my heart broken from one. I am so depressed and so anxious. Just getting out of bed is a chore, and sometimes I don't do it for hours. I either don't eat or I eat too much. I'm having constant headaches. And all of this stress is making my fibro flare even more. Go figure.

I don't know where I'm going to live or what I'm going to do. I can't do this. I just can't.