Ok so I'm pretty much just sitting here staring into space. I slept like shit, had the craziest most vivid dream ever. It was a sex dream, that kinda makes me nervous, I haven't had one since I fell over the deep end last time. I'm pretty much just trying to hold onto reality and not run off and do something stupid. Don't ask me what's going on with Josh because I have no freaking clue. Maybe he had someone else over, maybe he was drinking. I'm not analyzing why he decided he didn't want me to come over last night. I'm just acting like I don't care, the weird thing about it, is that I just don't care all that much. That doesn't mean I don't have feelings for him, that just means I don't want to deal with his bullshit. I don't want to deal with anyone's bullshit. I've got a really short fuse right now and I kinda pity the person who is stupid enough to get in my face. My ex husband says there is like a sign on my forehead that says Stay the Fuck Away. Something to do with the way my eyes look. Good, he needs to be scared. He needs to realize he has no say whatsoever about what's going on in my life. I'd like his girlfriend to be the stupid one, the one who steps up to tell me something...I might accidentally lose my temper. I'm losing it, I know. I can feel myself slipping. Wtf am I going to do.
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