Are you starting to wonder what rock I hit my head on this week? Good I like to keep you guessing. So in all honesty I'm being a lazy ass right now. And I'm doing that because I can. Amazing how this shit works isn't it? Jealous much? Probably but I don't care. I'm being me and that's in all honesty all I can do. I'm thinking about making a doctors appointment, I'm in a lot of pain right now, feels like I'm getting that bladder/kidney infection back. I've been ignoring it, and I know I can't cause of how bad the last one was but I really just don't want to go lol. I'm not peeing blood so far, so I'm sure I'm safe to wait until Thursday or Friday to go. It does hurt to pee though but I can't get in today and I have to work the next two days. I'm sure I'll be fine so I'm not worrying too much about it. I just took some tylenol and I'm sure it'll hurt less once that kicks in. Charlie came over last night, I haven't seen him in forever. Stopped having him over right before Mike and I hooked up, then just kinda cut him off, deleted him off my phone and all that. But he found me on myspace the other day and asked if we could hook up. I love having sex with him and he's so cute but he's such a whore lol. He's got so many women. He makes me laugh so hard because when I cut him off the last time and told him I wanted to actually date someone and not just get laid he said well I'll date you. I was like what? No fucking way, he'd never be faithful to anyone. We were laughing about it last night, he'd never be faithful, it was his last ditch ever because he needed a really good blow job and hadn't been able to find anyone who does it like me. My technique relaxes him when he's stressed out. I'm sure there is someone who is either offended because I'm so open or offended because thats why he comes to me, but I'm really cool with it cause the sex is great. He needs to get it into his head, I'm not hooking up with a chick just so he can watch gawd...I'm not doing that for anyone, even for a birthday. I'm surrounded by men who are dogs, this I'm aware of and really its their loss ya know. Cause I turn a lot of them away lol, tell them to get a life ya know. I'm supposed to hang out with Joey Wednesday night, not sure what we'll do, probably watch tv and argue over it like last time. I have to be in Roanoke the 25th for Austin's doctors appointment and then Ken wanted to go to the mall so we're going to do that. I'll be broke which is nothing new lol. Jackie is tattooing my leg, I really like the roses and stuff she drew up. I'll post pictures when she's done. I'm excited, this is gonna hurt though, I can just tell lol. I need to get in the shower, I don't really want to, gawd my back is hurting its like I got kicked by a horse or something. I'm stubborn as hell I know. I'm sitting here with a smile on my face though and that's all that matters. I've been like this lately, nothing really gets me down. Bi-polar or not, I'm handling life very well and I'm happy about that. I stay medicated and I know that this is what I have to do, I don't get to where I don't think I need the meds, I know better. I know what its like when I go off of them, I know all about withdrawl and manic episodes, and they don't feel good to me. I don't like feeling like I'm crazy, not being able to sleep, being obsessed with pleasure mostly sexual. Really it might not sound bad until you're in the middle of it feeling like you're in a boat paddling it in a circle.
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