And now....

09/24/2012

The entry you've all been waiting for!!!




I want to begin by saying that I am so sorry for those of you who are not on Facebook, you have no idea what's going on at all. But for everyone, I do apologize that I have not written an update at all in the last 3 weeks. Yes, I've been very busy with work, school, Henry, my mom, life in general and adjusting to having a boyfriend again. It's been a stressful three weeks, and I don't necessarily mean in a bad way at all...just a lot of changes and adjustments for everyone involved. So, with this disclaimer, let me take you back almost three weeks ago, to Monday, September 3.....

J was very worried that he would miss his flight so I set my alarm to go off at 3am. I woke up just enough to call him to make sure he was awake and went right back to sleep. Henry and woke uneventfully that morning and I had about 3 hours to get some more cleaning and things done around the house before I had to take Henry to his dad's and then be to the airport by noon. But, as always, things cannot be that easy! I was downstairs doing laundry when Henry decided to come down the stairs to tell me that he loves me. As he turned to go back upstairs, I heard a thud followed by my little boy screaming and crying. My adrenaline shot up and flew up the stairs to find him standing in the hallway with blood pouring out of his mouth everywhere. I quickly grabbed him and ran up to our apartment, grabbed some paper towels and tried desperately to figure out where the blood was coming from. Poor little man had blood everywhere in his mouth. Every time I would wipe his mouth, more blood would gush out. At this point, I'm covered in blood all over my hands and up my forearms. He didn't want me to touch him of course so it was a little bit of a battle. I finally realized that he had not knocked out any teeth but he had a decent 1/4 inch split in his lip on the left side of his mouth. I knew immediately he was going to need stitches. I grabbed an ice pack and wrapped it in paper towel and told Henry to hold it to his mouth. I called my ex and thankfully he answered. I simply said (very urgently as I was hyperventilating at this point) "You need to get here NOW!" and I hung up. Sadly, I had to leave Henry standing in the kitchen while I washed my hands and arms and then I had to run downstairs to finish what I was doing in the basement. A few minutes later, I heard my ex come pounding through the house and up to the apartment. I called my sister-in-law and explained what was going on and begged her to come and vacuum since I knew there was going to be very little time for anything else. My SIL is great and she came over and took the last of the garbage out and vacuumed for me. J was about to get on his final flight so I called him quickly and told him that I had to take Henry to the hospital for stitches and that I would do everything in my power to meet at the airport when he landed. He was absolutely great and understanding and told me to take my time and do what I had to do...he would wait. I did NOT want him to wait at all as this was his biggest fear - that I would not be there to meet him. Henry had to get 2 stitches and if I never have to hear my son scream like that again, I will be very happy!!!

I left the hospital around 11am, flew home, jumped in the shower and ran to the gas station (because of course I was on empty at this point). As I left the gas station, I got a text and I knew with a sinking feeling that it was J....his plane landed early. I was still 15 minutes away from the airport and had to find a place to park etc. So, I get there and he was waiting in the main terminal for me...I recognized him immediately and that's when the nervousness kicked in. What if he didn't like me? What if he thought I was ugly and not what he expected? I didn't hesitate to approach him and he had his back to me so I was able to get almost all the way up to him before he turned around. I gave him a hug even though I was so nervous I thought I was going to puke lol. I gave him a rose and took his hand and walked him to my car because I knew he was dying for a cigarette! We put his backpack in the car and I don't know what came over me but I grabbed him in another hug and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. It helped my nerves a little bit and helped to relax the mood a little. I drove to the cafe to pick up our picnic lunch and after I parallel parked the car, J grabbed my face and gave me a real kiss. I thought I was going to melt away in my seat. We got our lunch and I drove down to the lakefront where we laid out a blanket, ate lunch and just enjoyed each others company. We enjoyed the weather, the view, some cuddles and kisses and it was really a great way to continue to put both of us at ease and become comfortable with each other. By the end of the day, I'm pretty sure that our jitters were gone and we were back to the comfortability that we had together on the phone.

The next day was Henry's first day of school. I went over to his dad's house to meet up with him and to take some first day of school pics. He looked so handsome in his new outfit and he was so excited to go to school but my poor baby's mouth had swelled up horribly and it was hard for him to smile. And, of course, my idiot ex couldn't possibly be bothered to give the kid some ibuprofen to help make him more comfortable. I just don't understand him sometimes. Here are Henry's first day of school pics:







This final pic was right before we had to say goodbye for the day. He looked so unhappy and miserable it broke my heart. He was fine with saying goodbye until he saw all the other 4 year olds crying and then Henry started crying, which caused me to cry. Ugh! lol

Henry has met J and is already calling him his "second daddy" which is sweet but a little concerning about the fact that he is becoming so attached so quickly. But we've had some lows with this as well. We have worked hard to keep PDA to a minimum if not non-existent around Henry but he had caught us sharing a kiss or holding hands. Henry has pushed me away at one point crying that I don't love him or want him any more that I only want J. So, it's been difficult. J has also had some issues with family and "baggage" back home that has made things a little more stressful than really necessary. But I think that each obstacle we work through and overcome will only make us that much stronger as a couple.

J is amazing, really. He is sweet, attentive, affectionate, helpful, giving, loving and he thinks I'm beautiful. I have a hard time accepting the last part but at the same time, he is unwilling to accept that I think he's very handsome so I guess we're even. I love that he allows me to touch him and kiss him any time I want - I am very much a physical touch person (and I confirmed this by taking the 5 Love Languages survey as well). J is also a physical touch person so we're very compatible that way. He asks for honey-do lists and does the stuff I need done. He works with me as a team to get things done around the house. He is great with Henry and that is very important to me. He is so motivated, which is a huge and welcomed change from the ex....he already has 2 job offers he needs to choose between, he has been working hard to get everything transferred over to WI and is just "on-top" of everything...I'm getting spoiled because I'm not used to this. I will be going home to meet his family for Thanksgiving which I'm really excited about...although I hope we do not run into his ex. J is forced to get to know my ex because of Henry but I really don't want to get to know his ex in any way at all. Plus, I'm really not sure how nice I could be especially if she were to start some shit. So, hopefully, that weekend will go well. At this point, it looks like J is here to stay. We are both very happy and enjoying getting to know each other better every day and fall deeper in love every day.

School is going well. My macroeconomics class only has 3 weeks left and then I can fully concentrate on English. I am carrying an A in both classes for right now, which is my ultimate goal because I REALLY want to graduate Magna Cum Laud if at all possible. I'm not sure what else to say at this point....so much has happened and some of it has been hard but most of it has been great. I really hope that this is the man I can grow old with and who will love me and cherish me until the day I die.

I am also attaching a pic of Henry and his dad and Henry and J. My little man is just so cute and growing so much every day!

Henry & Daddy


Henry & J


If you made it through all of this, thank you! I will try to update more often going forward.

Love,
Carol









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