Time: 9:44am
State of Being: eh. crying.. again
Song lyric in my head:
current desire: to be a good teacher
where am I?: in the livingroom on the couch
what's that noise?: nothing
So friday I was "observed" in my class by my assistant director, Mrs. Bowers. The one that wrote me up for my kids being crazy the day AFTER their whole routine changed and the foundations kids left my class. Of course they were nuts. They are five. Big changes make crazy kids.
I was observed first period of the day in Reading. Where the kids have to write letters in their book. My angry kid, AJ was in one of his "I don't want to do this" phases. Where he gets super pissed and shuts down. I finally motivated him to write a couple lines in his book. I was so excited, because I actually got him to work.
In my evaluation, I didn't use my behavioral plan correctly, and I have absolutely no strengths. There was a spot where she could list strengths. She put N/A. yup. I have N/A strengths, because I didn't punish a five year old first thing in the morning. What she doesn't understand is that if I move AJ down to orange (with his clothes pin) first thing in the morning, he shuts down the entire day and I cannot get him back. I motivated him and told him how incredibly smart and hardworking he is. He ended up doing just a little bit of work. Not much, but it was something.
I'm honestly done. I can't win. Nothing I do can please this woman. On top of everything else, the kids already have learning disabilities and behavioral issues. And they are FIVE! They cannot grasp numbers or letters. Nothing is sticking. These are not regular kindergarten and first graders.
I'm tired of this constant anxiety. I'm tired of crying. I feel so shafted. If I had the kids alone from the beginning of the year, things might have been different.
I gotta go. Russ is awake.
-mel-
9:55am
|
Loading...