Crazy family.....new beginnings...

08/03/2013

Went to my aunts and uncles place for my baby sisters b-day/baptism party...it was just a small gathering. I rarely get to see that side of my family and I miss them...especially my silly sisters. My dad had me laughing too tho...which is rare cause I usually have a chip on my shoulder or something.....But I took my grandpa with me to the party (kickback...whatever...lol)...which is my moms dad...(btw my parents broke up before I was born...and my dad married someone else...I like my step mom...she's cool people...my moms parents raised me..) anywayz...my grandpa and my dad are 'buddies' and enjoy hanging out...and my dad was teasing my grandpa...it was hilarious. My dad is bad...too frank...very umm...open...lol...he had me blushing and laughing....I had a really good time with them...I'll never see Dr. Seuss the same again....lol...my dad is bad...smh....childhood ruined...lol..When me and my grandpa were leaving my grandpa called my dad to the car...and my grandpa said 'you know what I noticed about your family?'...my dad was all 'what?'....'lots of love' (my family on my moms side are used to drama...lol)....my dad decides to make a joke...'oh!...I thought you were gonna say you noticed I was gay...' and my dad started rubbing my grandpas stomach....'you know I'm gay right?...'...my grandpa 'get the fuck out of here Art!'...lol....My dad is too much...smh....but my grandpa enjoyed himself...lol. But he had to laugh at my dad...my dad is shameless....lol.


Other than that...my life has been boring...I applied to another agency...and I gotta call Monday to see if there's work...hopefully it works out...

Soo my lil cousin came over this weekend and everytime she does she loves going to mcdonalds because there's this guy who's really good at his job...lol...she likes him....but she is seeing this other guy right now (they're in that getting to know you stage)...and I try giving her the opportunities to say something to the mcdonalds guy (since waay before she started seeing this new guy)...I even got his name for her...lol..he knows me as a regular now...cause my grandpa loves the coffee soo I go there practically everyday ...soo he waves at me all time...asks me what I'm up to...etc....sooo I tease my cousin...I tell her he likes me more than her because he's always saying hi...lol...she gets 'oh hell no' on me...lol....honestly he is cute...but I imagine he's really young...she likes him...and yeah I don't really think of him like she does....lol...but I wouldn't be surprised if he thought I did....cause I bust up laughing and awkward giggles everytime I have to talk to him....because she makes me laugh...he doesn't see it....but she's freakin funny...cause she gets mean shy....and quiet...and I know that she likes the guy...its just funny...and I find myself laughing....cause its an inside joke....and he doesn't know...lol...idk...maybe he thinks its me...and that's why he says hi and makes small talk....he never used to before...lol. He's not getting any tips....even if he's good at his job...lol. I swear she should just talk to the guy already....she's considered exotic....latin girl with blond hair and blue eyes....and she's soo girly.....! Has the baby voice and hair flipping thing...lol...and the omg! I'm not wearing any makeup! I can't talk to him....oh well.....he probably has a girlfriend.....I think my cousin likes the guy as eye candy only...lol...


I'm sooo lagging it on reading the Fifty shades series....I'm still on book one....I haven't had any time to myself to read them....my grandpa has been going with me everywhere...lol. And they're in the car....I have finished a few other books I've been reading....but I kinda wanna get the fifty shades out of the way.....The sex scenes that I have read are....well kinda quick...but I guess that's normal...lol....still not all hot and bothered by them....oh well...lol.

I've decided to force myself to get over Al....I'm more serious this time....I'm making an effort to ignore him....plus he hasn't been posting much anyhow (and it makes it easier)...except 'liking' a lot of girls pics...which is just annoying now....there's a big part of me that just wants to delete a lot of people from fb....but I always do that....with life...I get to a point where I just feel like erasing my past soo I can move forward...but I think I'm just gonna try learning to live with it.....and stay away from fb as much as I can....a big part of me wants to get a job just soo I can meet someone...being idle is torture....it makes me yearn for things that have had their time....instead of moving on...I mourn the past....I think that's the main reason behind my want to be near Al....he's a good guy..(aside from his faults)... .but its a waste of time.....I can make a list of reasons why its stupid to like him.....to want him....its really time just to let go....too bad its easier said than done but...I've made up my mind....I had my unreasonable needs not to before....but I'm already gonna be 29.....this is just too much now....there's no real interactions for over 2 years....its dumb...and I'm done.....

I'm not giving up on finding someone someday...(hopefully sooner...than later)...I have a better idea as to what I'm looking for in a man....and what I won't tolerate.....both Al and Jesse taught me that.....Al I saw the good things to look for....as well as a few bad.....Jesse...was mostly showing me the bad..in both him and me....as well as showing me where I was strong....I learned something....it wasn't a total waste....thankfully.

I need to change a lot of things...and once I get a job...I plan on it....the job will give me that feeling of a new beginning....I'm just hoping to call me for work soon....Meantime...I'm gonna make small changes that don't require money and anything drastic....