Dream number 2 I had in Feb 2010. As I said before I kept it in mind thanks to the dream I had in Dec 2009. In the dream I find myself walking down an alley way and its bright and hot outside. I'm headed to an apartment/room where I'm to meet a man that wants to have sex with me. I'm pretty unsure about the whole thing because it'll be my first time...and I don't want him to be my first.
When I get there and I enter the place.... It takes awhile for my eyes to adjust to the change in light for the room was dim. I look around and I instantly don't wish to touch anything or be there at all but I'm tired of standing so I decide to sit on a bed with pale maroon sheets that's in the center of the room. The room had an odor and dirtyness about it and I can feel the anxiety building in me. I know he's not the man for me. That the guy I want is someone else. I don't want to have the man that's coming, children. I decide I'm gonna tell the man I have to get home quick or something...anything to get out of there...I can't go through with it...
After some time passes..the man finally arrives... he's dressed casually and he seems older than me. When he sees me he becomes extremely happy and starts to say how happy he is that I'm there, that we're gonna be perfect together, that I'll stay home, make him dinner, clean his place, and have 10 of his children. I start to panic... the guy is nuts. What about what I want? My dreams? I don't want that many kids...I want to work one day...have a life...not become someones wife yet...
Red flags just flash before my eyes and I keep thinking I need to get away. I tell him I need to go home immediately, that my grandma needs me, and I left the stove on. Which he isn't happy to hear...He tells me that after everything he did for me he couldn't let me leave without him getting something in return, that I wouldnt be anything without him. In my mind I was thinking thats not true. Everything I accomplished was because I worked hard for it.
I tried to leave but he pushed me down but I didnt give up. So he started to man handle me and hurt me. Eventually he managed to pin me down and started to rape me. I somehow managed to kick him awkwardly in the groin and he fell to the floor. I got up as fast I could but he grabbed for my leg sending me stumbling and twisting my ankle but I got my footing and ran for the door. When I got there I realised he had locked it so I fumbled to get it open and as I managed to get it cracked open when he slams it on my wrist making me scream; which temperarily stunned him because he was afraid the neighbors heard. I managed to use that time to squeeze through the door. He grabbed for my cardigan and ripped my shirt but I got away.
I ran as hard as I could but my ankle was twisted, my shoe wasnt completely on, and I could feel the pebbles of rocks digging into my feet, but I couldnt stop. He'd get me if I stopped. It was almost as if I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. It didnt occure to me to scream for help. My tears blurred my vision but kept running straight...
I eventually remembered my mom was a manager at some motel/apartments at the end of the alley way. I got there and banged on the door. She opened the door so slowly that I was sure I was gonna pass out from the swell of panic. My mom was emotionless and wanted to know why she should lock the door. I was frustrasted but I told her and she very slowly and calming locked the door.
I then asked if there is any other way to get in. She tells me no (I can clearly see a back door) and then says yeah. I ask if its lock. Shes says yeah but its broken. I go to check it out and attempt to lock it but the bolt slips and a blonde lady with anger runs to the door with the intentions of hurting me. I try harder to lock the door and manage to keep her from getting to me through there until she goes back to the side where there are black bars and grabs towards me. I struggle with her and before I know it shes inside. My mom comes to my rescue and the lady doesnt have a chance but I look at my hands full of her hair and know that I'm not this person. I dont do things like this...I talk my way out of things. I'm not violent.
I slowly relax my hold and tell my mom to stop. I know why she's here...the lady is obsessed with the man who attacked me and wants me out of the picture thinking I want him...I tell the lady I dont want him (my rapest). That he hurt me and I want nothing to do with him. That she shouldnt want him either. I let her go and she smiles with glee that she has him to herself now and leaves.
After she leaves...I begin my wait for 'my baby girl' to be delievered. My uncle and his friend are suppose to bring her to me from the hospital so I wait.
Meanwhile my attacker intercepts my uncle and tells him Im trying to keep him away from his baby. My uncle sympathises and tells him to go with him. My uncle in the dream had a chip on his shoulder because his babys momma wouldn't let him see his kids....
Back to me... Im scared and hiding with the belief hes still coming for me. When me and my mother hear a knock at the door. She tells me to hide in the kitchen and goes to answer the door. I take a look through her eyes to see who it is. Its a young man around my age, not tall, tan skin, goatee, dark hair/eyes, and has a nice smile. He tells my mom he's a friend of mine (which he is) and he has a bouquet of flowers for me. He tells her "I like your daughter alot is she here?". I get a memory of where I know him from. And we're in a huge place, standing in front of a table next to each other smiling, and the place has flourecent lighting, and there's boxes in front of us... I smile to myself and I look to the bouquet of flowers. In the middle was a dyed/painted blue rose. I know somehow that hes the right guy and that hes the one Im meant to be with...that he will be the father of my future child (weird huh). My mom lies and says 'no' I'm not there since she wasnt sure if he was the one I was hiding from. I'm ok with that cause I know I'll see him again soon...
Once he leaves I continue to wait for my uncle.
Back to my uncle. He tells the attacker if he'd like to hold the baby. The moment he hands my baby over I instantly know somethings wrong and I break into the hospital room and rip my baby from his arms. (admittedly too roughly...which causes me to anger more). I told him how could he let that bastard touch my baby.? That if he ever comes near her again I'll be sure to hurt him and that it would be his fault (my uncles'). It pisses me off that I need to explain my actions to people when they should trust that I don't do anything without a good reason...
I go back to where my mom is and I realised my grandma isnt in the picture soo I panic and manifested her but only could manage a shadow of her. Which worries me she's not in the picture anymore. I tell my mom what happened and I check the baby. I get a good look at her and she reminds me of my cousin Noonies and she's wrapped in a yellow blanket. I let my mom hold her and then (because its the only way to calm from thinking my grandma isnt around no more) I give the baby to my grandma to hold well I call my other uncle and tell him everything. He says he'll talk to my uncle. The dream ends.
The dream worries me and yet holds a little bit of hope for me. Some of it has come true already. My grandma isnt in the picture no more. She passed away just a year later from this dream.
Its possible I may have met the guy with the rose but I'm not sure....but the memory of where I knew him is somewhat similar to where I worked with Al. And the guys discription is close to Al's....
The baby isnt necessarily mine but my uncle Marios. It would explain why she reminds me of my cousin Noonies (which is her sister) and me calling her mine is because I'm gonna baptise her. Making me her technical mom =)...lol...the yellow blanket can be explained as her reasons why she didn't come home right away...she had yellow jaundice and they needed to keep her under a special lamp to make her skin color normal. Which also explains why I waited for her delivery.
My other uncles situation proved to be true....he's relationship with his girlfriend ended and about several months before the baby was born my uncle was having trouble seeing his kids....his babys' momma was being difficult because she wanted to control him...I dont believe he would ever allow someone I dont want near my baby If I ever had one....
The part about the rapest may be because of that guy I made the decision to talk to because he did want to force his beliefs about sex on me and got mad when I decided I didn't want him....and couldn't see myself with him the way he wanted...that guy originally told me he wanted 7 kids and a wife to clean his home and wait for him and have his dinner ready....he plans to move to mexico and told me he wanted me to go with him...and that put me off because I have my own dreams and goals....oh and when he was trying to convince me to sleep with him he mentioned a motel near his home that is the dirtiest place ever...eww...he had redflags galore going up about him when I talked to him.....but he never forced himself literally on me and I got no physical injury from him...just a little emotional bs to deal with..but all in all I'm good...btw...his new girlfriend was blonde once....soo was this other girl he had been talking to when he was talking all kinds of shit to me...=/
Oh and during that time I was talking to that guy my family was all up in my business...that I felt frustrated that I couldn't make my own decisions without them wanting to know everything...
The first dream from Dec2009 can be explained a bit....the area I flew over was an area I went through daily for work. Both men I worked with...(if its who I think...hope)...I saw my coworkers as a family...which can explain why I felt my family let 'him' in already. The young guy...matches the descriptions of Al once again....the two girls would make sense....he liked me but I can't say he liked me as more than just someone he was fond of....him ascending stairs could represent him moving on without me....oh and he did go to college...as much as I wanted to trust him when we worked together...I denied myself that most of the time...and now more than ever I don't trust guys because of the 'bad' guy....the younger/older thing with both guys can be explained as the younger guy being 2 years younger than the older guy. I'm not entirely sure if there's much meaning will come of this dream... I'm hoping I either meet the young guy one day and have that baby from the first dream or that Al turns out to be the right guy after all and I see him again soon....
As for the blue rose from the bouquet from dream 2...it can be explained in another entry....but that has meaning... |
Loading...