Well...I found out someone got a speeding ticket in my name...and now I have to fix it somehow...To be honest I was soo pissed I felt like crying...
The next day the lights turned off and I had to use the last of my money to put it back on...now I have no gas money, cell money, or lunch money. I need all that to get and keep a job...but now I don't know what I'm gonna do. Plus the tire on the car really needs replacing soon....its wobbling like no tomarrow.
Trying to cheer myself up....I've been trying out apps my cousin told me about...one of which...called 'Whisper'....Basically you get a picture and you write out a secret on it and post it...no one knows who you are but they can 'heart' it, reply to it, or they can private message you. I've only had it for two...going on three days and I like it....BUT there's a lot of Thirsty guys on it....smh. A lil annoying...but eh...only mildly.
Anywayz...I saw this one whisper that had part of a face...mainly the lips and chin showing...and well Idk what came over me...but I decided to message the person and tell them, if it was them in the pic, that they had very nice lips....lol...I don't typically do that sort of thing to be honest....but I couldn't shake my urge...soo I did. I should point out that the guy who posted the pic...also had wrote on the pic that he was looking for a FWB...or well a girl who wanted that...Obviously that's not something I'd do or want...and when I messaged him...I told him that....but I thought it'd be nice to say he had nice lips and I hope he finds what he's looking for....goodluck...lol. Probably not the smartest thing to do...cause it shows interest....and well...ugh this is gonna sound bad...but his lips reminded me of Al's...The guy thanked me....and after I guess some thought...decided to ask me why I found his lips attractive....(shit)...I wasn't gonna tell him 'your lips remind me of this guys' that I always dream of kissing'...soo I told him a truth that's attached to my real reason...I said they're attractive, kissable looking, and idk I just like them...lol. I added that I wasn't looking to kissing someone but just felt like saying what I did...I then asked him why he was looking for a FWB....took him a bit but he was honest about it....said he just moved here (which I found out he lives in my area...go figure)..needed financial/emotional stubility before he can consider being in a relationship again...but that he gets horny and doesn't wanna pick up on some random girl at a bar whenever he feels in the mood...lol. I can appreciate honesty. We talked for hours...he asked me a lot of questions...which is different from me doing all the asking...but then I'm not looking for a relationship with the guy...I was bored and so was he. He did want to know what were my feelings on FWB...and even asked why I wasn't interested in that sort of thing....He was pretty understanding but in my experience a lot of men are at first....but I can tell I intriged him....I'm still sticking to my guns tho. He's nice and smart...and he may have nice lips...and possibly physically attractive...and seemed to catch on (without me hinting or even saying anything) that I didn't get out.....he came to the conclusion that I put others first before myself...I was pretty vaige (sp?) on my answers...yet he was figuring me out pretty quick...(not sure how to feel about that)....anyway...soo what about all that...in the end he still wants a FWB type girl...I got the feeling he was trying to get me to want that....but nope..not gonna happen...I repeated that I won't have sex without it being something more...that I can understand why people prefer or choose that...but its not for me. He wasn't pesky about asking me directly why not...He kept it pretty innocent and he wasn't vulgar.
He plans on talking to me today....he said as much and I'm gonna tell him I'm overweight...Should send him off on his merry way quick...lol.
Guys assume too much that girls online are all thin pretty girls....smh...I accidently posted a picture of a pretty girl in a harry potter witch costume and was gonna put that I'd love to be dressed up sexy for Halloween once more....but the pic got posted without that...and...within seconds...I was getting 'hearts' and private messages...-__-'....*sigh*....Guys Really?....The girl is clearly a model...and the pic was professionally done....smh. There's a lot of chubby chasers on there too....I posted that I like to let guys know online that I'm heavy cause I feel like I'm leading them on and lying to them otherwise...and I got a lot of messages for that too...Stuff like 'I luv Fat girls!'....'Your Honesty is Sexy!'....lol....I also put a post about being called a good girl but seeming to be off limits to guys cause they're not interested in turning me bad....(it was a thought that had been bothering me and it was my first day using whisper...I didn't know I was opening myself up to guys on there...)...anyway I started getting messages like 'I want me a good girl  '....'I luv good girls'.....'I'd date you'....smh...No they wouldn't....Oh and one of the post I did was of my crush for Al....and how I felt bad cause he has a girlfriend but he's a terrible flirt....Next thing I know a guy message me 'I like to flirt...hmu! '....lol.
Of course my lil truth...or whatever... confession?..I wouldn't really call it that...like I said I wasn't trying to find a love connection or anything...just talking cause I was bored...I did the same the previous day with 3 people at once about DBZ...(yeah I'm a geek... )...and they were two guys and one girl. I think I knew more than them...lol. (Pretty big DBZ fan back when I was a teen...)...Anywho we never got around to it and...I feel the need to tell him I'm overweight so he (if he's convinced he likes me and might want me as his FWB...which I'm not interested in being)... doesn't get his hopes up...I don't mind him as a friend...but that's it. This way he'll either cut the convo...and that's fine...some people just aren't attracted to heavy girls...Just like I'm not attracted to really tall skinny guys....(I'm not shallow...I'll consider them...tall and skinny aren't deal breakers....I'm just not particularly attracted to that)...Or he'll continue to talk to me as a friend...Or (goodness forbid)...he actually likes heavy girls and continues to pursue me as his 'possible' FWB....in which case I'll ignore him. I'm not gonna change my mind...I'm not at a weak point....I'm not interested in being sexual...wait scratch that...I am but not under a FWB type condition...lol. I agree that sex is more a bodily urge...that doesn't NEED to be emotionaly enforced....the fact that I get bodily urges often without provoction (sp?) makes that very clear...BUT I'm a girl who hasn't had her first sexual experience and I KNOW I'll get attached emotionally....which defeats the whole 'no emotional attachment' rule...Plus I just can't do something like that....
Somedays tho...I wish I WOULD....lol. Still not gonna happen....unless its Al....then yeah...I'll totally be his FWB....shit bring it on...hell I'll be his one night stand...his dirty lil secret...Shit if he wanted me to play submission...I would.....I will not feel ashamed of being his play thing...(wow...I've dived off the deep end...lol). I guess I'd be fine with him only cause he's a decent guy even with his faults and I'm in...Love with him....wish I wasn't but....I came to that conclusion one day...its the truth...there's no denying it anymore. I'd rather have sex with a guy I care about and who will be good about it....than someone I don't know and I don't like that much...and most likely won't be good about it....but that's my reasoning...lol.
Oh and I'm currently addicted to stupid CandyCrush....:[....and since I'm broke...I can't unlock the next level without either completing the quests or ask for fb friends help....And I don't ask for help...lol. I completed two quests...I just have to wait till tomarrow for the next one to be unlocked...I'm on level 65 already.... . Hey is it me or does that Candy King guys voice kinda sound creepy?...I mean he reminds me of some pervert offering candy to kids to get into his van with blacked out windows....lol. |
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