I'm an OpenDiary orphan
I am me.
I.can.only.be.me.
I am a grandaughter, daughter, sister to three brothers, sister-in-law, girlfriend, and the adopted aunt to three nieces and one nephew.
My family is made up of blood, hard work, sweat, tears, laughter,
anger, mishaps, misfits, attitude, grattitude, and love...definite love.
I'm a "tough as nails" type of person.
Sometimes that attitude gets in the way but
I always show the love I have for those I care about.
Ahh, the boyfriend! He is everything I've ever
wanted and that, truely, scares me!
As of December 24th 2010 I would have been the mother of a 2 year old boy.
I try not to think about him.
It doesn't work The, few, people I talk about in my entries mean the world to me
...or mean nothing at all.
I don't regret anything that has happen to me,
that I've done, or that I will do. I don't think people make "mistakes",
I think lessons are, simply that, lessons.
For the most part I'm a happy, content, person!

"After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child. And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure that you really are strong and you really do have worth... and you learn... and you learn..."

Bucket List:
Go sky diving
Take a trip to Hawaii
Have side tattoo covered up
(accomplished 03.15.10)
Pay off Bubba (my car)
Get out of the repossession business
(accomplished 08.10)
Go parasailing
Go back to Germany for a visit
Take a cruise
Road-trip to Graceland!
Get married in Vegas/Reno by "Elvis"
Have a baby
Meet Allen face.to.face
Loose 60 lbs
Quit smoking for good
(accomplished 09.21.10)
Own a home
Family camping trip
(accomplished 07.04.10)
Learn how to Salsa dance
Read the Bible
Ride every ride at Great America
(accomplished 2007)
Take Patrick to Disneyland
Buy that Nikon camera I've been drooling over
Dedicate myself to Patrick as much as he's dedicated himself to me
Learn to let things "roll off my back"(accomplished 2010)
Get a motorcycle license
Deal with the emotional trauma I've been avoiding
Begin working as a Phlebotomist again